It was August 1999. A gentleman we knew that had lost his wife needed someone to take care of his young son for a few weeks. We agreed, and this little blonde haired - blue eyed boy we barely knew, came to stay at our house.
He was a good boy, almost to a fault. He had been through a lot in the previous year, losing his mom and health problems with his dad. He was polite, well behaved, and had a smile that would melt your heart. Since we didn't know him well, we didn't really know how to reach out to him - and really for a few weeks should we? It was summertime, he had no real responsibilities so he would get together with his friends and play, or he would watch tv, or play basketball with our youngest son.
Two weeks went by and we hadn't heard from his dad. A month. Now two months. School is now underway and rules need to be established, and guidelines for what a school week should look like. It dawns on me that he is no longer just visiting for a few weeks - he is now living with us. The dynamics of this situation needed to change drastically or this little boy could get lost in the sea of children left to their own devises un-parented.
Jim and I sat down and discussed what we felt needed to be done for him, and how we wanted to proceed. We sat him down and shared with him our expectations, and he agreed to follow them. Dad would call, and would come and get him for a while, but his health condition didn't allow him to care for the boy. He was now ours to raise. Oh, the responsibility is heavy when the child is not your own.
We had this young man for almost 3 years, when he then went to live with his sister and her husband. She was only four years older than he, and experienced the same grief and understood; something we couldn't do no matter how hard we tried. He thrived. He had built a shell around himself prior to coming to live with us, and we had begun to penetrate it but we could only go so far. When he lived with his sister, that shell seemed to crack a little more with each experience, and each success, and each new day.
The young man was athletic, and brilliant, AND cute. He was able to meld into any group and feel comfortable. He was well liked, and his peers desired to be around him. He was a good boy - he had strong moral fiber and a keen sense of right and wrong. One of the greatest attributes of this young man was the fact that he would tell the truth regardless of the cost. If he said something, you knew you could take it to the bank - no matter what. Integrity. The girls loved him cuz he was cute. The guys loved him because he was athletic and had such a great dry humor. Teachers loved him because he was brilliant. Coaches loved him because he was physically talented. Adults loved him because he was someone they could trust their kids with. They knew that his values and morals, and his overall character was a good influence on their child.
School was no difficulty for him. By his mid high school years, they put him in a community college high school, and he graduated top of his class and had completed almost enough college credits to have his associates degree at the same time. He was recognized at senior awards night with a citizenship award, and because he made the decision to join the service he was recognized with an enormous scholarship from his particular branch and a round of applause.
He went on to boot camp and then to the field of his choice. He was recognized with honors and special awards and opportunities. He spent two tours in Afghanistan protecting our freedoms, and is now safe back on American soil. He is in school now, preparing to make his mark on this world as a civilian. He is a man now. A grown man.
A man who has walked thru the fires of life. He has suffered immense grief, lived in places that he had to choose to make home, and lived through those painful years of adolescence without compromising his character. Today he is gentle, and kind, and loving, and strong.
This day 24 years ago, he was born. He had been fearfully and wonderfully made! This day, I take note and reflect on his life with gratitude. We were given an opportunity to not just know him, but to be able to call him ours - not by blood - but by choice and a very difficult set of circumstances.
What have I learned?
Where do I start . . . . I've learned that opportunities come and go. Sometimes we look at them as a burden, and maybe we need to look a little deeper. Sometimes the things we may consider burdens are ways that God is trying to stretch us to teach us about trusting in Him, or simply something we need to learn about ourselves.
I've learned that there is no greater gift than to be given the opportunity to invest in a young persons life.
I've learned thru the life of a young man who's circumstances gave him every reason to throw his arms up and become a victim, he made a choice to rise above it! Many years ago we were told that in life you have to make a choice - you can be a victim or a victor - a winner or a whiner - you have to choose . . . . you can't be both. He made a choice. As a little tiny 10 year old boy - he made a choice. I've had to make a lot of choices in my day, none of them compare to his. His example, I guarantee he doesn't even know he's set, has shown me what that looks like . . . . and I'm humbled.
Jeremiah 29:
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.
Happy Birthday to one of the finest young men we know. We love you!!
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