It was December 3rd, 1903 when Florence Matilda was born into this world. She was born to Hans and Emma Jacobs in Davenport IA. She was a sister to many brothers (upwards of 9) and one sister. Black hair, smokey blue eyes, and a heart as big as the sky.
Well you say, who is this person so worthy of note? This is my Big Gram! Flo to some, Tilly to others, Florency to some loved ones, but mostly Mom and Gram. I would like to take the time to dedicate a post about her. I believe as this blog evolves there will be so many references to her as she was such an influential person in my life, and many of my character traits come from her. So, for the reader and for my opportunity to revisit who she is, it will be of great benefit.
Gram told me very little about her childhood and her growing up experiences. Life was very hard for her from the beginning, and over the course of her years, that didn't change much. Having the privilege of watching her walk thru it, taught me a great deal. I believe there is very little pain and suffering I will experience that could be even measured to what she suffered and yet . . . she chose to be a blessing to many.
Hans had a heavy hand, and ran a very tight German ship. He took his horse whip to the dinner table, and should any one of the many children step out of line, the whip was cracked . . . literally. The household was ran with a great deal of fear, and a lot of work for the two daughters.
As a very young girl, she met William Melvin at a funeral held in the parlor of a home on 2nd St in Davenport IA. They took to each other, and it wasn't long and she became his Mrs. She was beautiful. Her hair was long and braided and dark black. She was tall and slender and had huge blue eyes. And she was timid. And she was magnetic. And he fell in love. Sounds like a fairy tale, but trying to remove herself from the difficult home life, she walked into another.
While she never spoke about it to me, I learned that she was pregnant. William (Billy, Willy, or Mel) had an even worse childhood, and had determined that he wanted no children. They married, and shortly after, he forced her to abort. Of course, back in those days (1925) abortion was illegal, so he brought a "nurse" to the house to "take care of it". Gram was destroyed.
God had a different idea for their life. Shortly after the abortion, she got pregnant again and had the first of their children. Eighteen months later, came number two. Two years later came number three. When Gram got pregnant with number four, her first born was eight. First born recalled one night while in bed, a nurse came to the house, and took Gram into her bedroom. All that firstborn remembers was hearing Gram scream . . . and the blood. Less than 9 months later came number four - the one that was to be aborted - but lived. He was the only child they had born in a hospital, the rest were all home births. Two years later came number five. My dad. Then four years later came the last - number six.
Six children!! She was just crazy about them; they were her life. She had a blast with them! She would stir them up, and then do something crazy, and then they would all laugh. She tells the time that number four (who was the one that knew how to work her best) would keep at her and nag and nag and nag, until she would be at wits end. One day she was making dinner and was mashing the potatoes. She had just about enough of him, and she had a scoop of potatoes on the spoon, she spun around and slung the potatoes at him. He ducked and they hit number one (the timid and shy one) right in the head! Number one didn't have a clue what hit her and what she should do next. The whole kitchen erupted into laughter!!!!!
They didn't have much. Early I mentioned the two of them meeting at a funeral in a home on W 2nd St. That is the home they ended up buying and raising their family in. They lived in that house their entire lives - Gram til she was 87 and Gramp til he was almost 96. They were married 65 years when she died. Gram could cook anything out of anything. She made turtle soup, and pigeon. She made her homemade bread, and soup out of anything she could find. She used every part of every animal available to her; nothing went to waste.
They suffered thru the depression. Not just the depression as an era, but serious depression thru the depression. You see due to Gramps difficult childhood, he suffered from mental illness. Somehow he managed to live a healthy life, until number six was about 4. At that time, he began acting out, and he was a danger to himself. She and the neighbor had discussed his behaviors and she was at a loss of what to do. The mental illness caused his job loss, and began taking over the household. She decided with the neighbors help to have Grampa committed. She spoke to the doctor and asked that when they come to take him, that they just not put him in a straight jacket because she didn't want her children seeing their father taken that way, as mental illness was taboo. No such luck. They arrived to take him and she had to sign the papers committing him. They didn't follow her wish, and put her husband in a straight jacket and took him off for several years.
She was left to support, love on, and discipline six children ranging in ages of six to eighteen. The three older had to go to work to help provide for the family, and Gram took a job working in a bar and grill cooking lunch. It was there that she became known for her magic that happened when food touched her hands! She was able to take number six to work with her, and the rest were in school. Life was hard.
Grampa was kept for about six years in the institution, and when they released him after many shock treatments, she was told that he will never be well - but he could live a somewhat normal life without being a danger to himself nor anyone else. Life became harder. He was bitter, and often told her that the person on the other end of the pen should have gone away. She still had littles at home and had to make home a safe happy place where they wanted to be. And . . . she managed to do that.
Over the years, they found a way to make their marriage work even tho there was bitterness and resentments on both sides. Back in the day those were things you just didn't talk about. Grampa wasn't able to return to work, and they were together all the time. He had many bad days, which meant so did she. Somehow - in all of it - they genuinely loved each other. They took care of each other. They talked with each other. They had fun together. But, they never talked about the elephant in the middle of the room. Months before she passed, they made peace with each other. What a blessing!
You will read throughout my posts all of the great memories I have of Gram. You will read of her humor, and her tricks, and her love for life. You will learn how she molded me and taught me, and loved me in a way that words could never even begin to describe. All of this you have read, I knew nothing about until adulthood. I had no idea how she suffered and what she had walked thru in childhood, child bearing, and child rearing. Many of my plethora of cousins know nothing about what she was made of - I count myself blessed. Why?
Gram was very intuitive. I'm sure that came from her life's experiences, or maybe God just gifted her that way. Because of our closeness, I was able to talk to her about anything and everything. As a very little girl she taught me life's greatest lesson. It was accompanied by a little jingle, and I don't remember exactly how she said it, but nonetheless it has molded me and kept me from despair. She told me that happiness was a choice, and that it took as much energy to smile as it did to frown. She said on a day when you don' feel like smiling that is the day you need to make yourself do it. Because when you smile, people smile back at you, and pretty soon the smile is real and you don't feel like frowning anymore. She told me to make that choice because I was going to go thru the day no matter what and in the long run life would be better if I made the choice to smile and be happy. The jingle? "Never let the corners of your mouth turn down".
Today I understand. Then, I listened to her and trusted her word and took heed, and was always glad I did because she was right. Today the words those words are real because I know she lived what she told me to do. I never knew she suffered. I never knew she walked thru the pits of hell. I never knew there was bitterness and resentment between her and Grampa. Not because this was a hidden untalked about subject, but because she made a choice.
Today is the day we celebrate her life. This day each year, I reflect on the life lessons she taught me. Each year as I walk thru yet another one with its up and downs, I think about her and how she rose above her circumstances to be a woman of honor, one that 107 years after her birth she is still being recognized, missed, and loved. I can only hope that I leave a legacy such as this. I have not suffered; I don't think that is a requirement. I have loved - my hope is that i have and can love deep enough, self sacrificially enough, and unconditionally enough that 100 years after my birth I'm being recognized, missed, and loved. I'm fortunate to have had a mentor and a role model, the rest is up to me. Thank you Gram, I love you!
Proverbs 31:29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Well you say, who is this person so worthy of note? This is my Big Gram! Flo to some, Tilly to others, Florency to some loved ones, but mostly Mom and Gram. I would like to take the time to dedicate a post about her. I believe as this blog evolves there will be so many references to her as she was such an influential person in my life, and many of my character traits come from her. So, for the reader and for my opportunity to revisit who she is, it will be of great benefit.
Gram told me very little about her childhood and her growing up experiences. Life was very hard for her from the beginning, and over the course of her years, that didn't change much. Having the privilege of watching her walk thru it, taught me a great deal. I believe there is very little pain and suffering I will experience that could be even measured to what she suffered and yet . . . she chose to be a blessing to many.
Hans had a heavy hand, and ran a very tight German ship. He took his horse whip to the dinner table, and should any one of the many children step out of line, the whip was cracked . . . literally. The household was ran with a great deal of fear, and a lot of work for the two daughters.
As a very young girl, she met William Melvin at a funeral held in the parlor of a home on 2nd St in Davenport IA. They took to each other, and it wasn't long and she became his Mrs. She was beautiful. Her hair was long and braided and dark black. She was tall and slender and had huge blue eyes. And she was timid. And she was magnetic. And he fell in love. Sounds like a fairy tale, but trying to remove herself from the difficult home life, she walked into another.
While she never spoke about it to me, I learned that she was pregnant. William (Billy, Willy, or Mel) had an even worse childhood, and had determined that he wanted no children. They married, and shortly after, he forced her to abort. Of course, back in those days (1925) abortion was illegal, so he brought a "nurse" to the house to "take care of it". Gram was destroyed.
God had a different idea for their life. Shortly after the abortion, she got pregnant again and had the first of their children. Eighteen months later, came number two. Two years later came number three. When Gram got pregnant with number four, her first born was eight. First born recalled one night while in bed, a nurse came to the house, and took Gram into her bedroom. All that firstborn remembers was hearing Gram scream . . . and the blood. Less than 9 months later came number four - the one that was to be aborted - but lived. He was the only child they had born in a hospital, the rest were all home births. Two years later came number five. My dad. Then four years later came the last - number six.
Six children!! She was just crazy about them; they were her life. She had a blast with them! She would stir them up, and then do something crazy, and then they would all laugh. She tells the time that number four (who was the one that knew how to work her best) would keep at her and nag and nag and nag, until she would be at wits end. One day she was making dinner and was mashing the potatoes. She had just about enough of him, and she had a scoop of potatoes on the spoon, she spun around and slung the potatoes at him. He ducked and they hit number one (the timid and shy one) right in the head! Number one didn't have a clue what hit her and what she should do next. The whole kitchen erupted into laughter!!!!!
They didn't have much. Early I mentioned the two of them meeting at a funeral in a home on W 2nd St. That is the home they ended up buying and raising their family in. They lived in that house their entire lives - Gram til she was 87 and Gramp til he was almost 96. They were married 65 years when she died. Gram could cook anything out of anything. She made turtle soup, and pigeon. She made her homemade bread, and soup out of anything she could find. She used every part of every animal available to her; nothing went to waste.
They suffered thru the depression. Not just the depression as an era, but serious depression thru the depression. You see due to Gramps difficult childhood, he suffered from mental illness. Somehow he managed to live a healthy life, until number six was about 4. At that time, he began acting out, and he was a danger to himself. She and the neighbor had discussed his behaviors and she was at a loss of what to do. The mental illness caused his job loss, and began taking over the household. She decided with the neighbors help to have Grampa committed. She spoke to the doctor and asked that when they come to take him, that they just not put him in a straight jacket because she didn't want her children seeing their father taken that way, as mental illness was taboo. No such luck. They arrived to take him and she had to sign the papers committing him. They didn't follow her wish, and put her husband in a straight jacket and took him off for several years.
She was left to support, love on, and discipline six children ranging in ages of six to eighteen. The three older had to go to work to help provide for the family, and Gram took a job working in a bar and grill cooking lunch. It was there that she became known for her magic that happened when food touched her hands! She was able to take number six to work with her, and the rest were in school. Life was hard.
Grampa was kept for about six years in the institution, and when they released him after many shock treatments, she was told that he will never be well - but he could live a somewhat normal life without being a danger to himself nor anyone else. Life became harder. He was bitter, and often told her that the person on the other end of the pen should have gone away. She still had littles at home and had to make home a safe happy place where they wanted to be. And . . . she managed to do that.
Over the years, they found a way to make their marriage work even tho there was bitterness and resentments on both sides. Back in the day those were things you just didn't talk about. Grampa wasn't able to return to work, and they were together all the time. He had many bad days, which meant so did she. Somehow - in all of it - they genuinely loved each other. They took care of each other. They talked with each other. They had fun together. But, they never talked about the elephant in the middle of the room. Months before she passed, they made peace with each other. What a blessing!
You will read throughout my posts all of the great memories I have of Gram. You will read of her humor, and her tricks, and her love for life. You will learn how she molded me and taught me, and loved me in a way that words could never even begin to describe. All of this you have read, I knew nothing about until adulthood. I had no idea how she suffered and what she had walked thru in childhood, child bearing, and child rearing. Many of my plethora of cousins know nothing about what she was made of - I count myself blessed. Why?
Gram was very intuitive. I'm sure that came from her life's experiences, or maybe God just gifted her that way. Because of our closeness, I was able to talk to her about anything and everything. As a very little girl she taught me life's greatest lesson. It was accompanied by a little jingle, and I don't remember exactly how she said it, but nonetheless it has molded me and kept me from despair. She told me that happiness was a choice, and that it took as much energy to smile as it did to frown. She said on a day when you don' feel like smiling that is the day you need to make yourself do it. Because when you smile, people smile back at you, and pretty soon the smile is real and you don't feel like frowning anymore. She told me to make that choice because I was going to go thru the day no matter what and in the long run life would be better if I made the choice to smile and be happy. The jingle? "Never let the corners of your mouth turn down".
Today I understand. Then, I listened to her and trusted her word and took heed, and was always glad I did because she was right. Today the words those words are real because I know she lived what she told me to do. I never knew she suffered. I never knew she walked thru the pits of hell. I never knew there was bitterness and resentment between her and Grampa. Not because this was a hidden untalked about subject, but because she made a choice.
Today is the day we celebrate her life. This day each year, I reflect on the life lessons she taught me. Each year as I walk thru yet another one with its up and downs, I think about her and how she rose above her circumstances to be a woman of honor, one that 107 years after her birth she is still being recognized, missed, and loved. I can only hope that I leave a legacy such as this. I have not suffered; I don't think that is a requirement. I have loved - my hope is that i have and can love deep enough, self sacrificially enough, and unconditionally enough that 100 years after my birth I'm being recognized, missed, and loved. I'm fortunate to have had a mentor and a role model, the rest is up to me. Thank you Gram, I love you!
Proverbs 31:29 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
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