This is the Day . . . .

Today was the day.  Jim decided to brace his knee and make the trek to the attic to pull out the Christmas decorations.  Oh my Lord where does all that stuff come from, and how does one household accumulate so much stuff that sits out for a few weeks a year.  And . . . why?????

Jim kept bringing bin after bin after bin.  He placed them outside on each of our patio chairs so that I could get to them easily without having to bend and stress my back.  Now for those that don't live in the sunny southwest, it is 80 degrees today, and I can unpack those bins as I want and if they get left out overnight - who cares?!!!!!  

Then came tree after tree after tree.  I don't even know where they came from.  One was this mangled thing that you could cast bets on and no one would guess at tree.  To the trash it went!  Once all the goodies were out of the attic, Jim decided to get the lights hung outside.  Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!!!!

As I began pulling things from the bins, memories began to flood.  I first pulled out the precious decorations that belonged to Big Gram.  I look at them tenderly, and hold them and almost caress them as I reflect back on where they sat in her home.  For just a minute I don't want to leave that place.  Then comes the New Hampshire moose, sent to me from my dear friend our first Christmas away from each other after so many years.  Next comes a little yellow box - empty - but unable to part with - that says "To Lynn - a snowman that is fitting for a house full of boys!", given to me by one of my favorite people in the whole wide world!

Then as I'm going thru the things that we have decorated the house with over the course of our 34 years, I remember each and every one of them.  A sleigh from my aunt with all of our names on it, and a serving tray that says "Snowdens" on it.  The ornaments that the boys made when they were little, and the ones that my mom gave us year after year that build the memories hanging on the tree.

My favorite ornament is one my Gram made and only I can say it is absolutely hideous!  Years ago when we were little, my dad and all of his siblings and spouses went to Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve at Gram and Gramps.  It was the most awesome thing.  Just them - no kids - enjoying each other after all those years.  Gram would cook a meal and the afterward the women would make something christmasy to take home.  Then each of them bought gifts for each other and they had a gift exchange.  They loved it and had so much fun.  One particular year the women took thread spun ornaments and decorated them with beads and the like.  Well, I got Grams somehow.  WOW - a little blingy!!!  She took a blue bulb and in rows from top to bottom about a quarter inch apart all around she put shiny beads.  In the very center of the front she made a shiny beady design, and then hung a crystalish bead to dangle at the bottom.  Truly blingy and my Emma would have simply found Gram to be divine and loved decorating with her!!!!!  When I pull that ornament out I half cry and half laugh and I get excited to hang it on the tree.  One year I was putting up the tree and a young girl made a comment about that bulb and how ugly it was and why would I hang it on our tree.  I was so hurt, and kinda mad.  As I reflect on that, it wasn't until she said something that caused me to really consider it, that I realized the value that silly thing had.  From that point on, I have never looked at that particular ornament the same, and for some reason its value has increased immeasureably.

As I sat down to rest my back, and took a look at all the stuff unloaded out of their bins, I began remembering Christmas's past, as if it was a movie going on inside my head.  Grampa spent hours decorating their Christmas tree and it was beyond perfect.  Every bulb (or blub as he called them) was placed strategically on the tree - and perfect.  He trimmed it so that it was exactly uniform and it took up a good 1/3 of their small living room.  Gram had cornices on each of her windows and upon them were crazy styrofoam cups that each had a letter and a streamer of ribbons coming from them to spell out Merry Christmas on one cornice and Happy New Year on the other.  Another after Christmas Dinner project, I'm sure.  We would go down to their house and we would sit on the floor in front of the tree and wait for Grampa to turn it on.  It was like the biggest happening of the year!  We ooohed and aaaahed and each year it was like it was the first year we'd ever experienced it!!   Life was simple then.

From there I went to the year that we lived on a farm, and I was working third shift.  Jim and the boys were getting ready to decorate the tree (tradition) and I was laying on the couch watching them and somewhat napping til I had to go to work.  I must have fallen asleep before they had finished, and awoke to find them - all four - laying on the floor admiring the tree, unaware that they had fallen asleep themselves and the tree had fallen over on top of them!  They had decorated the front so heavy it fell over!!!!!!!  I remember the boys favorite thing about Christmas was getting their very own 3 foot coloring book and 64 crayons, along with their own case of soda and bag of dorito chips.  You'd think they had been given the world!!!!!!!!  So many many memories; my heart is full.

This decorating thing is exhausting.  Not just physically but emotionally, and spiritually, and mentally.  This year I wasn't going to do it, but when we found out littles were coming I knew it was necessary.  There are stil many many more memories to be made.  Maybe none that will be the same as years past, but new ones and good ones, and many of them.

So, this is the day!  This is the day that I realize that Christmas isn't about should I or should I not put up Christmas due to who is or who isn't going to be here.  This is the day that I realize that Christmas is about memories, and loved ones, and gratitude, and emotions, and love.  This is the day that I remember that those things are made possible because of the great love of the one who died for me - the very one who's birth we celebrate.  This is the day that I repent - for thinking that it was about me and what I am missing from my life (my family) and not what was done for me by the one who's birth its about.  So, for now . . . I'm gonna continue to reflect on my many Christmas's celebrated, the loved ones in my life - here or there or gone before me, but mostly  . . . . sitting in the solitude I'm going to rejoice knowing that before I was even born - He loved me.  He loved me enough to die for me and plan for my eternity.  This is the day . . . 

This is the day that the Lord has made.  I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!!!!!!!!!!!