Yes, we should. Nah . . . not necessary. Well maybe its the right thing. What do you think? Well why wouldn't you? Are you depressed?
All about the decorations. I have a poinsettia and its beautiful. And I have a red table runner which looks festive. Plus, I found a Merry Christmas metal wreath with red cardinals on it and hung it on the front of the house. Isn't that enough? Guess not.
There are lots of reasons why. The biggest reason is because we are cripples!! Jim is scheduled for knee surgery two days after Christmas, and I'm still flat on my back for the most part. All of our decorations are in the attic and he can't climb the ladder to get to it. I'm not much help if you can imagine that!
We were sure we were going to be alone this Christmas, as all of our kin are elsewhere. This will be the first without most of our grands. We've never spent a holiday away from them until this year and its a thick thing to walk thru. So, with both of us laid up - me with my back and Jim with his knee - and all of the Christmas decorations in the attic, we decided maybe not this year.
We weren't really sure if the don't decorate idea came from sadness, or from reality. We thought if we were going to be alone we may take off and do something different and start our own senior tradition. The look on peoples faces when we would say we weren't gonna decorate was as if we had three eyeballs and they didn't quite know how to look at us without staring!
I love to decorate. I love the smell of the candles, and the fire going, and watching how the house transforms. I love to bake cookies - another thing we won't be doing together this year - and smelling the deliciousness permeate the house. I love watching Jim devour the goods! I love carefully placing each cookie on the give away plate so it looks inviting, and then watching others as they taste the goodness. I think of all the kids and what their favorites are. I reminisce of the days when they were little boys and would help make, bake and eat. I remember making a plethora of cookies and filling the freezer full of them to the brim. We would start day after Thanksgiving and bake each chance we got. Funny thing was, when it was time to put the cookie plates together, the boxes in the freezer were next to empty. Funnier yet - no one ate them!!!!! You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but each year the same thing happened, and each year i was as surprised as the year before.
Sometimes when life gets ahead of me this time of year and I'm just not feelin the holiday spirit, I contemplate not decorating. I did that once - didn't decorate. It haunts me to this day. It was a particularly hard year, and my Gram had just passed away. I was down and sad and really wrapped up in my own stuff, and couldn't bring myself to do Christmas decorating. We didn't go get a tree, and I didn't get out any decorations. Jimmy was about 10ish. On Christmas Eve he asked his dad to go into the woods and help him cut down a tree. They did, and they set it up. It was pretty crooked and they couldn't make it stand up. So, Jim got some fishing line and a screw and screwed it into the corner of the paneled wall. Jimmy went to the attic and got some decorations and lights and he made Christmas. We had gifts for the kids, so Santa showed up, but along with my self absorbed sad self, I filled my gut with humble pie. I'm convinced that borders child abuse - and probably one of Jimmy's worst childhood memories of all.
As we were deciding not to decorate, I was haunted by that cedar tree wired to the wall, and a little boy with great big puppy dog brown eyes that were filled with dissappointment in his mom. So, the internal war was being fought within me, and the battle raged. One day don't was winning, when I couldn't get off the couch and Jim was icing his knee. Another day do was winning, and I was setting out the Christmas placemats or changing the air fresheners to mistletoe and fresh balsam.
Then we get the call. With Luke and family gone, we didn't even think that Josh and Deb and their littles would be coming all this way. They are! We will have little Seth and Emily here for 4 days, and that was just the kick in the rear we needed. They can't come to Christmas and have no tree. They can't come to Papa's house and not have it all lit up with lights. They can't go without Christmas cookies, and I think I may just wait to make some of them when they are here. I think I may get everything else done, so that they can sit at the table and make cookies and memories and messes, one not meaning anything without the other two. I will put them in the littles aprons and give them their tools and let them go at it. They will have their new christmas jammies given on Christmas Eve as is our tradition. And they will climb into bed on Christmas Eve, to awake to a room full of gifts. They will have Papa's breakfast as tradition has it, and they will play and play and play. We will all share a meal together, and make memories around the table. Different memories than years past, but memories nonetheless. It will be good. We will be blessed.
We have had to summons help - but it will be done. Today I picked up some cinnamon scented pine cones! I did a little online shopping,and dug around in the garage trying to see if I could find anything - to no avail!
The verdict is - to decorate. Here is what I've learned:
Sometimes we spend more time thinking about what it isn't, rather than seeing what it is.
Sometimes we pay way more attention to what we don't have than what we do.
Sometimes we think way more about our own feelings and circumstances than those we propose to love.
Sometimes we are way to ungrateful rather than taking just a moment to value the many ways our lives are rich, full of blessings.
Sometimes . . . .sometimes we learn a really valuable lesson.
We weren't really sure if the don't decorate idea came from sadness, or from reality. We thought if we were going to be alone we may take off and do something different and start our own senior tradition. The look on peoples faces when we would say we weren't gonna decorate was as if we had three eyeballs and they didn't quite know how to look at us without staring!
I love to decorate. I love the smell of the candles, and the fire going, and watching how the house transforms. I love to bake cookies - another thing we won't be doing together this year - and smelling the deliciousness permeate the house. I love watching Jim devour the goods! I love carefully placing each cookie on the give away plate so it looks inviting, and then watching others as they taste the goodness. I think of all the kids and what their favorites are. I reminisce of the days when they were little boys and would help make, bake and eat. I remember making a plethora of cookies and filling the freezer full of them to the brim. We would start day after Thanksgiving and bake each chance we got. Funny thing was, when it was time to put the cookie plates together, the boxes in the freezer were next to empty. Funnier yet - no one ate them!!!!! You'd think I would have learned my lesson, but each year the same thing happened, and each year i was as surprised as the year before.
Sometimes when life gets ahead of me this time of year and I'm just not feelin the holiday spirit, I contemplate not decorating. I did that once - didn't decorate. It haunts me to this day. It was a particularly hard year, and my Gram had just passed away. I was down and sad and really wrapped up in my own stuff, and couldn't bring myself to do Christmas decorating. We didn't go get a tree, and I didn't get out any decorations. Jimmy was about 10ish. On Christmas Eve he asked his dad to go into the woods and help him cut down a tree. They did, and they set it up. It was pretty crooked and they couldn't make it stand up. So, Jim got some fishing line and a screw and screwed it into the corner of the paneled wall. Jimmy went to the attic and got some decorations and lights and he made Christmas. We had gifts for the kids, so Santa showed up, but along with my self absorbed sad self, I filled my gut with humble pie. I'm convinced that borders child abuse - and probably one of Jimmy's worst childhood memories of all.
As we were deciding not to decorate, I was haunted by that cedar tree wired to the wall, and a little boy with great big puppy dog brown eyes that were filled with dissappointment in his mom. So, the internal war was being fought within me, and the battle raged. One day don't was winning, when I couldn't get off the couch and Jim was icing his knee. Another day do was winning, and I was setting out the Christmas placemats or changing the air fresheners to mistletoe and fresh balsam.
Then we get the call. With Luke and family gone, we didn't even think that Josh and Deb and their littles would be coming all this way. They are! We will have little Seth and Emily here for 4 days, and that was just the kick in the rear we needed. They can't come to Christmas and have no tree. They can't come to Papa's house and not have it all lit up with lights. They can't go without Christmas cookies, and I think I may just wait to make some of them when they are here. I think I may get everything else done, so that they can sit at the table and make cookies and memories and messes, one not meaning anything without the other two. I will put them in the littles aprons and give them their tools and let them go at it. They will have their new christmas jammies given on Christmas Eve as is our tradition. And they will climb into bed on Christmas Eve, to awake to a room full of gifts. They will have Papa's breakfast as tradition has it, and they will play and play and play. We will all share a meal together, and make memories around the table. Different memories than years past, but memories nonetheless. It will be good. We will be blessed.
We have had to summons help - but it will be done. Today I picked up some cinnamon scented pine cones! I did a little online shopping,and dug around in the garage trying to see if I could find anything - to no avail!
The verdict is - to decorate. Here is what I've learned:
Sometimes we spend more time thinking about what it isn't, rather than seeing what it is.
Sometimes we pay way more attention to what we don't have than what we do.
Sometimes we think way more about our own feelings and circumstances than those we propose to love.
Sometimes we are way to ungrateful rather than taking just a moment to value the many ways our lives are rich, full of blessings.
Sometimes . . . .sometimes we learn a really valuable lesson.
So glad that you won't be alone on Christmas. I know how that feels, and I remember so many wonderful Christmases when the boys were young and we were all together and made those memories. I am thankful for each and every one of them. I love you.
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